mylifeneedstoslowdown

What? i just barely made it to the computer to blog in almost a month?

Yeah.. whats done is done.

I literally have a list... (i'm a list maker) of posts that need to be blogged... sickening i tell you. 

But before I get to those, I have something much more pressing weighing on my mind. 

I've been hecka busy lately. One thing after another and it shows no signs of slowing down. 

We went to Utah this last weekend and got to escape from reality for a few days. 

It was magical. Good company, good food! And family just spoiling my lil family. It warmed my heart so. 

Then we got home Sunday and decided to look for a place. 

Monday. I found one through a ward friend. 

And Tuesday we received the call that we got the place to rent! -pause- Yayyyyyyy! 

Today we signed the lease and all that grown up stuff. 

We move in 2 weeks. Lots to do, but huge relief! 

So today I finally decided I loved my family enough to go grocery shopping. Or more like Tucker has been making a list for 3 days now... hinting. waiting.

 And so I got the deed done. I took all three kiddos at 6 in the evening. What was I thinking? Super crowded. Note. Don't go to Winco when people get off work. 

So I had two kids in the cart and one walk by me. Got lots of stares..some good- some bad. Whatev people. 

And we got all our delcious shopping done in a whopping Hour and a half! holy moses. 

And considering that, Beck and Arli did really well! I had no complaints. Rivers was an angel of course, as usual. 

So Beck and Arli each picked out a doughnut but we get home and my heart sunk when I couldn't find the bag. I totally left them at the checkout. MOMFAIL! 

Beck's heart was broken. 

The boy loooooves doughnuts. And he knew he deserved one. 

They still loved me after I let them have cereal for dinner. at 7:45 mind you. (aka bedtime) They went to bed sweet and tired. 

While I was putting Riv to sleep in their room, Alri goes out to fill her waterbottle like the miss independent she is. 

She comes back and I say goodnight. Tell her I love her. And that girl made my heart burst into a million pieces and she said Goodnight, I love you too, and blew me a nice wet kiss. Then she blew Rivers a kiss. Walked over to her bed and blew a kiss at Beck on the top bunk. Heart melting! 

I love when that girl blows kisses. Little did she know that I seriously needed one right then. 

I watched her climb into bed. That silly girl is so loving. So forgiving. 

And each night when I put them to bed I remember how lucky I am to have these sweet, beautiful, smart, just straight up good kids to call mine. 

I have to admit something I do with my kids. After the especially hard days.. ya know the ones. When my mean mom comes out.. and I am impatient and unattentive with my little ones - that night when it slows down like that.. I apologize to them. I literally tell them how sorry I am for "such and such" and tell them I promise to be better tomorrow and tell them how much I love them. 

I know they are naturally so forgiving.. but I do it to let them know that Mommy makes mistakes.. and they are still so loved. And I think it validates their feelings.

Guys, I'm nowhere near a perfect Mother. 

But I can only try to be. 

And love my kids along the way. 

and kiss-hug-tickle-tease-squeeze- them every day.