In just one day I have recieved an aray of emotions from my kids.
But today I got a special treat...
At one point today I overheard Beck and Arli in their room, talking to each other about how much they didn't like me anymore.
And then I put them to bed and Beck resorts back to his sweet little boy that I've known all along, and cuddles me. While reading books he holds onto my arm, pressing his cheek into it. He rubs his hand on my arm and tells me how much he loves me. It is pure sweetness. He has such a sweet spirit. A spirit that I sometimes feel a lot of pressure to raise right.
I am nowhere near the perfect mother.
I have bad days. I lose my steam with them. Sometimes not the most pleasant words find their way into my speaking at them. They have to ask me for something about 11 hundred times for me to actually do it.
And sometimes they are just having fun, being silly, being kids.. and I get frustrated with the noise.
But no matter how imperfect I am.. they continue to love me unconditionally.
I am in awe of that.
When it comes down to the end of the day.. they love me with all their little hearts.
And I love them back.
Seeing them all cuddled up in bed has an effect on me. And I think to myself every night I walk out of their room..
Tomorrow I'll be better.
Because tonight.. Beck said he wishes there were two of me....
and if he loves me enough to want that... then he deserves the very best mother I can be.